The definitive guide to South Asian lingo

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Verb. December 22, 2012, Word of the Day


It is the process of wiping and at the same time washing your butt. Having the best of both the worlds: Desi and US.
Disclaimer: The process detailed herein can be highly addictive.The contributor will not be responsible for any direct or consequential damages or defamation suffered by the followers there of, by being branded 'weird' or whatever other differently weird people may try to cause.

1. Use paper that is not too flimsy or too harsh. Beware! You are dealing with the 'foundation' of man.
2. Before you settle down comfortably on the throne pull out the paper to make a wad of about 16 ply of sheets after folding them twice in the middle of the panel into size 2"x2".
3.Hold the folded wad under the faucet for just 1.00 microseconds, just enough to make it wet but not so much that it disintegrates. Lightly shake off in to the sink any water that is ready to drip off.
4. Place this moistened paper on a clean surface reachable to your favorite hand
5. After you are completely satisfied with the current 'weight loss' effort, do all that you would do in the US of A. This part is called 'dry wash'.
6.After the best of the dry washes of your life, now you are about to embark on the novel and revolutionary part. Now gently but with firm resolve but with a light grip on the wet paper swipe back to front with the least amount of upward pressure. Don't hurt yourself or the paper.

7.Now Inspect the paper. Don't be ashamed of yourself if the inspection reveals that your performance all along had been disappointing. No wet paper can ever lie.

8. End the cycle with just one more doubled or quadrupled panel of dry paper. Inspect again, and plan improvements for the next attempt Don't tell anyone what you are doing.


You are expecting me to show how to use the 'hybrid wash'. sorry, now way!
Added 2011-08-07 by I love Dtool